


stars hollow

by stubbleglitter (maggie)



Category: Gilmore Girls, NSYNC
Genre: Crossover, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-19
Updated: 2002-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggie/pseuds/stubbleglitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the boys make a stopover at the gilmore girls' house, which goes almost exactly as you'd imagine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stars hollow

  
_Happy tinkly "la la la" music plays as we open in the GILMORE KITCHEN. RORY GILMORE is eating a Pop Tart; LORELAI GILMORE is making coffee. The music fades out as RORY squints out the kitchen window, half getting-up from her chair._   


RORY: Mom? Were you expecting company? (_goes to window)_

LORELAI: Weh? No. Why? (_totters over to window_)

RORY (_dropping Pop Tart_): Ohmigod--Mom, you didn't _really_ tell that bunch of frat boys they could have a kegger under our huppa, did you?

LORELAI: Of course not! At least, I didn't tell them they could do it under the huppa. That's **my** huppa.

RORY (_backing away from window_): Oh..._no_.

  
_LORELAI and RORY stare at each other, then bound to the front door. They throw it open and stand there, mouths agape._   


RORY: It isn't.

LORELAI: It is!

RORY: It can't be!

LORELAI: It can!

JC CHASEZ: Are you guys having an existential crisis here? Because we can come back later.

  
_Quick fade, opening credits, yadda yadda yadda. Come back up in the KITCHEN, where RORY and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE are leaned against the counter holding coffee mugs and the others are sitting at the table. RORY keeps shooting sidelong glances at JUSTIN, who notices and starts smiling into his mug._   


CHRIS KIRKPATRICK: ...So anyhow, we must've took a wrong turn somewhere, because we ended up here instead of Hartford. Where _is_ here, anyway?

LORELAI: Stars Hollow. Or as we like to call it, the Prettiest Little Town With Three-Ceramic-Unicorn-Stores on the Eastern Seaboard. Or, um, that's actually what **I** like to call it. I'm hoping it'll catch on soon.

CHRIS: Yeah, good luck with that.

LANCE BASS: Have you tried posters? People will normally do what posters tell them to do.

LORELAI (_impressed_): No, I have not tried posters, but I _will_.

JOEY FATONE: Hey, not to interrupt the propaganda lesson, but is there anywhere around here that we could get something to eat? We've been in that car for three hours now and nothing to eat but animal crackers.

JC: **Bad** animal crackers.

RORY: How can animal crackers be bad?

JUSTIN: They were the ones Chris keeps stashed in his trunk for an emergency.

RORY: Oh, like if his car skidded off the road and he was trapped in a ditch with all the doors blocked for five days and has to rely only on what's in his car?

JUSTIN: Then at least he'd have his six-year-old animal crackers and a huge collection of punk-rock CDs and peach air-fresheners to keep him alive.

RORY: Makes perfect sense.

CHRIS: Which reminds me, I should restock my emergency stash. Anywhere in this Prettiest Little Three-Ceramic-Unicorn-Stores Town sell cookies?

LORELAI: Ye-ahhh, Doose's Market, but you don't wanna go there. Here--(_rustles in cupboard and brings out three packages of cookies_)--have one of ours. You want neon Oreoes, these weird confetti Chips Ahoy, or raspberry-filled Dream Puffs?

CHRIS: In the absence of something I'd actually _like_, I'll take the Dream Puffs.

JOEY (_plaintively_): Food?

  
_The doorbell rings and everybody freezes. LORELAI slaps a hand to her forehead._   


RORY: Grandma?

LORELAI: I totally forgot she was coming over!

LANCE: Well, look--I'm sure we can find our own way around the town--

LORELAI: You think I'm going to pass up what in all likelihood is my **only** chance of herding America's poppiest boyband into Luke's Diner? Nuh-uh, little boy!

RORY: I'm gonna go get the door.

  
_RORY runs to the door, JUSTIN close behind her as she throws it open. EMILY GILMORE beams at RORY, moving to embrace her, but pulls back when she sees JUSTIN._   


EMILY: Your mother didn't say you'd be having guests....

JUSTIN: Oh, she wasn't planning on having us. We just kind of dropped in. (_holds out hand, which EMILY shakes, looking at RORY._)

RORY: Grandma, this is International Pop Sensation Justin Timberlake.

EMILY: Is this true?

JUSTIN: Well, I like to think of it as "multinational," myself. "International" just sounds so conceited, don't you think?

EMILY: Well, he certainly **talks** like he would fit in at this house.

  
_EMILY strides into the kitchen. RORY and JUSTIN smile at each other. JUSTIN elbows her chummily and they follow EMILY._   


LORELAI: Oh, hi, Mom! This is, um, Chris Joey Lance and JC.

EMILY: It's very nice to meet you. I didn't know you were having company, Lorelai, or I would have rescheduled.

LORELAI: No, Mom, it's okay. They just kind of--

EMILY: --dropped in, yes, I heard. Well, I won't ask you to leave your guests. These music contracts will simply have to wait.

CHRIS: Uh-oh.

LANCE: Music contracts?

CHRIS: Here we go....

EMILY: Why, yes--the Hartford Women's Society is sponsoring a teen mixer for the summer, and we've been trying to find a decent but small pop group to perform there. I was going to ask Lorelai's advice, but since her tastes in music tend to run towards squealing and electric guitars--

LORELAI: Um, hello? That squealing puts the "O" in Sweet Child O' Mine, thank you very much!

JOEY (_mildly_): She has a point.

LANCE (_reaching for EMILY's papers_): If you don't mind...?

EMILY (_impressed and pleased_): Not at all.

  
_EMILY and LANCE move off into the living room while LORELAI stares after them. She throws her hands in the air and whirls back to the table._   


LORELAI: Is the world coming to an end? Because that's the only possible reason for *nsync giving my mother business advice.

CHRIS: You think _that's_ weird, Justin and your daughter are kinda hitting it off.

LORELAI (_alarmed_): Really?!?

CHRIS: No, not really.

LORELAI (_wagging finger_): You are trouble, mister.

CHRIS (_modestly_): I've been told.

  
_Cut to LUKE'S DINER, where LUKE DANES is rushing about delivering plates of food to tables. The door opens and in come the GILMORES and *NSYNC, minus EMILY and LANCE. LUKE scrunches his face at them._   


LUKE: Let me guess--exchange students from some hoity-toity art college where people dress like this even if they're _not_ brain dead?

LORELAI: Be nice. They're musicians.

LUKE: They're blocking my doorway.

  
_He goes off behind the counter while LORELAI finds a table and they settle._   


JC (_plucking at his pants_): It's the pants, isn't it? It's the stripe down the middle. I thought they were just faded, that new kind of faded with the faded bit down the front, but it's not, it's a stripe, it's a blue stripe.

RORY: No, no--your pants are fine! I have a pair just like that.

JC (_mollified_): Oh, okay. (_beat_) No, wait--

  
_LUKE arrives at the table, pen and notepad in hand, scowl firmly on face._   


LUKE: What'll you have? And don't try to order any sort of extra-bran soybean patty crap, because I don't do that kind of thing here.

JOEY (_blissfully_): Can I have a double cheeseburger medium with extra bacon and salt-and-pepper dip for the fries? And a vanilla coke?

LUKE (_eyes him consideringly_): Yeah, fine.

  
_The others begin placing their orders; RORY meanwhile sees JESS [insert complicated Italian surname here] standing behind the counter, drying milkshake glasses. She gets up and goes over._   


JESS: Now, I'm pretty sure I passed up on that cake that said "Eat Me," so the only possible explanation for what I'm seeing is that I took the red pill.

RORY: Holy eclectic references, Alice.

JESS: Is that *nsync sitting over there? They're missing one, though. Is he in space already?

RORY: No, he's planning the music for a Hartford Women's Society teen mixer with my grandmother.

JESS: And somehow, that sounds _more_ crazy than being shot into space.

  
_JUSTIN looms up behind RORY protectively and JESS squints at him._   


JESS: Huh. You've really got a thing for these sixteen-foot-tall guys, don't you?

RORY (_shrugging delightedly_): They're good at keeping the sun off me. And I never have to cry when faced with a really tall shelf ever again.

JUSTIN (_trying to be polite, holding out his hand_): Justin Timberlake, Multinational Corporation.

  
_JESS glances puzzledly at RORY, who shakes her head._   


RORY: You kinda had to be there.

JESS: I'm sure.

  
_Cut back to the table, where SOOKIE ST. JAMES has come in and is busily rearranging JOEY's cheeseburger._   


SOOKIE: Try it now.

JOEY (_taking huge bite_): Mmmmm! That _is_ a tasty burger!

SOOKIE (_excited_): See, just a few leaves of fresh basil really make a difference to beef. I mean, it's a classic accompaniment, and--**oh my GOD**!

LORELAI: What?!?

SOOKIE (_clinging to LORELAI and whispering_): Do you know who you're sitting with? It's *nsync! The real *nsync! Like on that poster with the white tigers that Rory had when she was little!

LORELAI: I know, Sookie. They got--

SOOKIE: **Joey's** eating something that I touched! Eeep!

JOEY: This is really good, Sookie. But I love basil, anyhow--I make this puttanesca sauce for pappardelle that uses a lot of basil, and--(_SOOKIE grabs JOEY and pulls him up; JOEY goes willingly enough, still clutching his burger._)

SOOKIE: Show me!

JOEY (_being pulled out door_): I'll catch up later, guys!

LORELAI (_blinking_): Wow. It's like you guys are being pared off one by one.

CHRIS: We're in _The Stand_, I knew it!

JC: _X-Files_, more like. It's a small town and all, so, yes.

LORELAI: Damn! My evil alien plot's been foiled again.

  
_Cut back to the counter, where JESS and JUSTIN are in a heated debate._   


JUSTIN: Look, I spent an entire autumn doing Hemingway in bus school, and I'm telling you, "Hills Like White Elephants" does the best job of showing his views on gender relations!

JESS: Well, your bus must've been going over a few crater-sized potholes and hit your heartthrob head when you were doing Hemingway, because "Fathers and Sons" is bar none the best for his thoughts about women.

RORY: I don't know whether I should be scared or mentally recording this moment to soothe myself when I'm on my deathbed. (_She looks out the window and sees LANE KIM approaching, and gets off her stool, suddenly anxious._) Um, guys? Carry on the literary discussion--I'll be right back.

JUSTIN: That's good.

JESS: It's good, and it's nice. (_They glare at each other._)

RORY (_intercepting LANE at the door_): Uh, hi, Lane!

LANE (_excitedly_): My Elvis Costello came! The double-disc reissue of _My Aim is True_, and it's here and it's all mine! I can't wait until my new Tom Waits get here. Oh, except there's two of them, and I won't know which one to listen to first, _Blood Money_ or _Alice_. That could be a problem.

RORY (_glancing worriedly in *nsync's direction and guiding LANE away_): Why don't you listen to them in alphabetical order?

LANE: Good idea! I'll just--(_stops, stares, and pulls away from RORY, going over to JC and regarding him suspiciously_) You're *nsync.

JC: Uh, partially, yes.

LANE: You were in a Moby video.

JC (_beaming_): Yes!

LANE (_suspiciously_): "Lawyers, Guns and Money"?

JC: Warren Zevon.

LANE: "There's No Disappointment in Heaven"?

JC: Jimmy Scott.

LANE (_getting excited_): "Not Ready Yet"?

JC (_politely nonchalant_): The Eels.

LANE: Do you want to come hang out in my closet?!?

CHRIS: Whoa, that was a little sudden. Usually girls wait for at least ten minutes before inviting JC into small enclosures.

LANE (_ignoring CHRIS_): Seriously--you _want_ to come hang out in my closet.

RORY (_surprised and relieved_): You do, you really do. Lane has a CD collection that would rival the Library of Congress.

JC (_eyes lighting up_): Well, okay, then! I like closets.

LORELAI: Ooh. Let's just leave that one there, shall we?

  
_LANE and JC skitter off and CHRIS frowns._   


CHRIS: One by one, I'm tellin' ya. Just me and the Infant left to go.

LORELAI: Aw, nothing's gonna happen to you while you're with me!

CHRIS: Of course not--you're the hive queen, and you won't make your move until all your lesser minons have assimilated my bandmembers and convinced them that we should include more use of spirit fingers in our choreograpy.

LORELAI: I want to eat your brains.

RORY: Okay, I'm moving over there now.

  
_RORY hops over to the counter, where JESS and JUSTIN are about ready to come to blows over Hemingway._   


RORY (_inserting herself between them_): Rocky, Apollo--that's enough!

JESS: Just get this Backstreet Boy out of my face--(_JUSTIN lunges for him, but RORY grabs hold of his hips. Somewhat startled, JUSTIN makes a mis-step and careens into RORY; they have to clutch onto each other to keep from smashing against the counter and end up in a tight embrace._

RORY (_breathlessly_): Wow--I feel sort of like I should be wearing a torn bodice and calling you "Lord Rippington" or something.

JUSTIN (_gently_): You okay?

  
_RORY nods, eyes rounded, as JUSTIN keeps hold of her around the waist with one arm and lifts his other hand to cup the nape of her neck. JESS raises his hands and stomps off into the back; LUKE goes past JUSTIN and RORY and heads for LORELAI's table._   


LUKE (_glaring at CHRIS_): I hope you boybanders've had all your shots, because that's the only reason **that** one should be hanging onto Rory like that.

LORELAI (_alarmed_): What?!? (_She starts getting out of her chair as LUKE heads back behind the counter, glaring at the oblivious JUSTIN._)

CHRIS (_grabbing her arm_): Leave them, they're fine. Justin hasn't hauled out the vanilla candles or earnestly started reciting bad poetry to her, so it can't be that serious.

LORELAI: If anything happens, I'm holding **you** responsible.

CHRIS: I'm not nothing if not not responsible.

LORELAI: You said that wrong, didn't you.

CHRIS: Damn, yeah. I meant to say, "I'm nothing even remotely resembling responsible. In fact, I don't know what the word means, and hey, could you look it up for me?"

LORELAI: Christophers. They're all the same.

CHRIS: I'm nothing like Christopher Columbus....

LORELAI: But you have a vague Christopher Walken vibe.

CHRIS (_thrilled_): Wanna have my babies?

LORELAI: Sorry, another Christopher already beat you to it.

  
_They smile at each other for about a beat longer than is comfortable, and both start looking away and playing with their plates and cutlery. JUSTIN and RORY come over, holding hands._   


JUSTIN: Chris--think maybe we should start rounding up the others? It's starting to get a little late and we do still have to make it to Hartford.

RORY: Plus they block up the roads out of here at ten.

JUSTIN (_interested_): Maintaining two-hundred year-old prohibition laws?

RORY: No. If anybody leaves after dark, the whole town will dissolve forever instead of appearing every hundred years.

JUSTIN: Tough break, lassie.

RORY: Oh aye.

...

  
_Back at the GILMORE house, with most of *nsync piled back in their car. JOEY's got an enormous picnic basket balanced on his knees, JC is carrying a stack of CDs, LANCE has a sheaf of papers with him. CHRIS and JUSTIN are standing outside with LORELAI and RORY._   


LORELAI: So don't lose the map, or you'll end up in one of the really bad towns nearby where there's no kind-hearted single women and their daughters who are willing to parade you around and give you cookies.

CHRIS (_shoving map in pocket_): Castle Rock it is.

  
_They grin at each other and CHRIS wraps one arm around LORELAI's shoulders briefly before getting in the car. JUSTIN and RORY are still standing there, looking at each other and swinging slightly._   


JUSTIN: So...

RORY: So.

  
_They're quiet for a while, then RORY smiles gently and holds out her hand. _   


RORY: It was nice meeting you, Justin Timberlake. And I'm especially happy that I didn't have to enter any embarassing contests to do it.

JUSTIN (_ruefully clasping her hand_): Yeah, watching somebody eat her own weight in gummi worms can kind of wreck any real desire for friendship. (_RORY smiles wider, and JUSTIN pulls her into a hug, letting go only when LORELAI makes a loud noise behind him._)

JUSTIN (_jumping into car_): E-mail me?

RORY (_waving_): Okay!

LORELAI: Buy me something nice from Needful Things!

LANCE: "Needful Things"?...

CHRIS: You wouldn't get it.

LANCE: Her mom was right. She _does_ talk like a crazy person.

*NSYNC (_waving_): Bye!

  
_They drive away as the GILMORES wave good bye, then turn to head back into the house._   


LORELAI: So you've got the e-mail address of Justin Timberlake.

RORY: Yep.

LORELAI: And you're gonna use it.

RORY: Yep.

LORELAI: Should we burn that Backstreet Boys calendar that's hanging in the upstairs bathroom?

RORY: For my peace of mind.

LORELAI: I'll be sad to see Howie go, but whatever relieves the guilt, baby.

  
_They wrap their arms about each other and walk into the house with the requisite Gilmore "la la la" music playing as it fades to black._   



End file.
